Thursday, August 27, 2009
Grief.
The act of letting sorrow flow freely...so overpowering that we tried to push it away in the hope that it'll disappear. But it can't. won't. doesn't. Not until it has run its full course. It's an abundant of feeling that must find a way to burn itself. Sometimes a lifetime to burn away. Initially it dulls your senses. Everything seems to move in slow motion. Every meaning that your life ever had, doesn't seem to make much sense now. You feel no joy, no anger, no sadness. Then at some point of time, all the senses becoming hypersensitive. The constant pain in your heart that feels like your soul is being ripped apart. The screaming within you, so loud that you're sure someone would have heard it. But no one did. That's why you're still here. Even if they had heard. They didn't understand what they were hearing.
Humans can't communicate through thoughts alone. But if people didn't listen. Who would want to talk? This is so messed up. Drowning in the unfathomable. Swimming in the delusions.
Secret questions should only be answered by secret answers.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Was flipping through the newspaper today and read an article about the brain being the one that's controlling our moral values, guilt etc. I've always believe that the heart is always the one feeling..be it guilt..remorse..happiness..so shouldnt it be the one controlling our emotions? I mean..hey..when u're sad..you dont actually get headaches right..the pain is always in the heart...maybe not exactly in the heart..but its around there. The article force me to review how or where exactly are feelings formed. Scientifically it must be the brain, your heart only pumps blood. It does nothing else. Yet why does our heart hurt so much when we're feeling down? *shrugs* maybe shall wiki it later....
Monday, August 17, 2009
Enough..i'm tired
These words hurt most to the person who said them
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Guardroom custodian..HA! wat a load of bullshit..y dont u say Guardroom Figurehead IC? Or better Guardroom Ultimate Scapegoat! Stupid thing... lol. sometimes the things you say out in anger can sound quite funny 5 mins later (so u now know the "..." takes 5 mins to type)
I remember someone told me about flauctuating emotions..which i'm having right now..angry at the 1st moment, chuckling the next moment and feeling sucky right now..Lol..gd thing is i manage to smile for every emotion..sneer when i'm angry..wide dimple smile when i'm happy..sad smile when i'm sad..its quite an irony..sad and smile dun go together..but people can do tt..hmm..actually sad smile doesnt exist..its just smiling when your feeling sad..a mask..
All the tears that cant flow out from your eyes, flow to your heart. That's y ppl need to pour their hearts out sometimes.
It was strange not talking today.
Monday, August 10, 2009
In the past i'll always look for you when i'm sad cus i know you'll nvr be the one that make me sad..i'm becoming a hollow..
Sunday, August 2, 2009
and now i know why i'm feeling down
Hais..i'm now stuck at home waiting to go back camp..then will go on outfield..feeling alittle down..lol..not tt outfield will be shiong..i'll just rot there..neither is it cus the food is sucky..i'm really not picky about food..
hmmm.....maybe its cus i'm the only one among my department to go..with no frens to talk to..and it was also kinda last min activation..
or maybe its becus i feel real sad..hais..though its just another obstacle..i dun want any of my frens to go through it..it changed me..and i strayed to a difficult path..but i still managed to get back with the help of my frens..
i really feel that you are a strong, kind and nice person..you are a joy to everyone that had known you..for those that dont think so..they really dont know you well enough..even though i myself have only known you for a short period of time..but..you believe me right..start believing in yourself too
Saturday, August 1, 2009
For you
I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'
But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea
But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places,
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise
I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.
